We Keep On Rockin'

So far, this has been the theme song of Paris 2009:


I need to go to sleep, but I'll elaborate on this later. Hahaha.

In The Center Of The Ring, Just Like A Circus

So the day after Christmas, my beloved Dell laptop, Cesc (named forCesc Fàbregas) who started university with me and made the trek to Sevilla with me, decided to stop working after two and a half years of service.

Perhaps I should be glad he decided to crap out on me three weeks before I left for Paris, rather than in Paris. But I'm back on a brand new, shiny MacBook, who has yet to be named.

It is now 2009. Where does the time go? In less than two weeks, I'll be going to San Francisco with my parents to get my visa, hopefully see my childhood best friend, and then on the 17th of January, I'll get on a flight to Paris, France.

I'm so excited, yet so terrified. I'll be studying at a French university, doing most of my course work in French, a language I've been studying for six and a half years. I've been confident in my French skills before, navigating Paris for my best friend and her family, but I've never done an entire semester in French. I'm just nervous. I want to say this is just pre-departure jitters. I sure hope so. I really don't want to have a breakdown while I'm having a second chance to have the semester of a lifetime.

In other news, the twelve year old in me really loves Britney Spears' new album, Circus! I should really start packing too...

Resa versus Technology

My birthday was on Tuesday the 23rd and now it's the day after Christmas.

My computer has decided to crap out on me.

This is GREAT.

Bang! Bang! You Shot Me To The Ground

Um. I think I'm going to die of embarrassment. Well, I went over to this football (soccer) website and, like the hormonal-barely-out-of-her-teens-girl that I am, started looking at pictures of shirtless soccer players out of boredom/just because I wanted to. Oh, did I mention? I'm in Campus Center. Not on my computer.

So therefore, what I just did in the previous paragraph is looked down upon. (Oh, if anybody's wondering, this is what I was looking at. And don't look at me like that! He's very yummy, okay.)

Anyway, the whole point of this entry was to say that my pre-departure drama has commenced again.

Last year, it was all about a certain male who had his own issues about me leaving, which was psychologically draining, and distracted me more than I needed to be. This year, it's... everybody else who didn't have a crack at me last time, taking turns and hitting me where it hurts.

A "good friend" of mine has accused me of being self-absorbed. I honestly don't know, it may be true, but when she asks me what's going on in my life, I tell her "I'm preparing to study in France". Does that make me self-absorbed? We're trying to work it out. I'm not going to dump years of friendship over this, unless she wants to, then why bother trying, really?

Another friend, who I've been friends with since I was eleven, is dealing with a bunch of romantic relationship whatever stuff and, like I have been since the age of eleven, I've been there for her. We had a bit of a drifting apart after graduating high school but reconnected right before I left for Spain. Anyway, back to her "relationship stuff", she has serious trust issues, and she's pining for this guy who's on a missionary trip for two years (he's been gone almost a year now, I believe) when they were never in a serious relationship or in a relationship to begin with.

And now she's dumping on me for leaving her. What? Last time I checked, she and I were not in a relationship. She knows how much this means to me and she has to whine whine whine about her not-boyfriend and about me leaving her. She wants me to give this up so she doesn't have to be alone before he comes back. What?!

I just don't get it. Yes, I am aware that I am whining writing this, but this needs to be put here, because it relates to my studies.

I want people to be happy for me that I'm going so that when I'm over there, I can look forward to coming back. Like last time. But the euphoria I felt coming home wore off after like a week and I'm scared it'll happen again.

All of this makes me want to leave so badly. I want to leave tomorrow. Let me buy my one way ticket and I'll live in Paris penniless. Okay, not really, but I really feel that anywhere? Better than here right now.

And Even With Broken Wings, Sometimes You Find Your Way To Fly

I got the e-mail! I got accepted for Paris next semester!!!!!

I'll be definitely seeing Orly there in January! I'm so excited.

Now I have to go through the bureaucratic mess again. Wow.

YES. YES.

OUI! OUI!

You say he makes your life complete but do you ever think of me?

I'm at it again, working on my latest escape. My blog kind of failed in that capacity in the spring.

I had two options and I really wish I could've gone to both Sweden and France.

In the end, due to my language/academics rather than my love of most things Swedish... I am choosing to go to Paris, despite the fact that I haven't officially been accepted yet.

We'll see how this goes.

Jag är i Göteborg! Wow, it feels so weird being able to type on this with extra keys.

I got in yesterday at like 8 PM and stood around waiting for a tram, not knowing I had to buy a card since they don't sell on the tram itself. I love this city and I think I may have to come back down the road when I've got more money and time.

Today I did some shopping, explored Göteborg and really enjoyed it. I bought cds from a shop as recommended by Poptastic (who gave me fantastic directions, btw. I got three cds! One signed by Sebastian Karlsson!!) Tomorrow, I have a train to Gävle where I'll be meeting up with friends. Then next monday, I'll be solo i Stockholm (That'd be a Brolle reference) until I fly to Amsterdam to see friends from the institute in Sevilla.